How excited are you about graduation?

Fall 2009

The Mirage, Las Vegas

The economic climate currently is bad. Like, awful. That almost goes without saying. For a soon-to-be graduate with a $100,000 degree that is essentially meaningless (I didn't major in a technical field...bad call), it is not the most reassuring reality in the world. Years ago, I could have been content knowing that, while my future was not yet determined, I could take time exploring different career opportunities 30 DAYS style until I found the one that was right for me. In 2009, with lawyers working as bartenders and spokes models masquerading as...strippers (?) I didn't anticipate a very promising job market. However, not a single day has gone by that someone has not excitedly asked me about my future prospects. I cannot speak for all graduates, but I personally have no desire to discuss a future that if anything, is currently undetermined. In fact, my new standard answer to any question related to a future will be "bartender in Las Vegas" or "truck driver in Ohio." (*I support all directionless graduating seniors to take the same approach). For those of you who know graduating seniors, I offer the following suggestions:



1) Do not ask what their future prospects are! Un-voluteered information is unavailable information.



2) Do not assume that this question is not asked constantly. In addition to your family, friends, and strangers inquiring about the future, the graduate asks themselves constantly what they want to do. You are not helping figure out answers.


3) Your suggestions are typically unnecessary and are anti-helpful. I do not want a job in HR, or to go back to school; if I wanted those things then I would probably be pursuing them. Also, any statement that starts with "Have you thought about doing..." should literally get you punched in the face.



4) If you can get me a job not working and making money (ala Rob and Big or being a voice for an animated cartoon), then I would love to hear about it! Otherwise, no. I would not like to work as an assistant manager at Target.



5) KNOWING THAT OTHER GRADUATES ARE HAVING THE SAME ISSUES IS NOT REASSURING! I recognize that everyone is dealing with a difficult job market. This, however, does not help me find any discernible direction. It doesn't make me feel better and is not constructive.

6) Graduates do not want to be jobless. No part of me wants to not figure out what I will be doing on May 4th. However, this is my reality. Do not assume that the millions of my peers that will be sitting at home want to be sitting at home.


7) Don't try to put yourself in the shoes of the graduate! More than likely they won't be able to afford to buy new ones for a while, so they need them.



8) Reminding the graduate of past successes does not encourage them to look toward a promising future. I had 47 campus positions, 3 jobs, 16 volunteering commitments, a 4.8 GPA, and a really awesome smile. And no job. I'm pretty sure I remember what I did, so unless you're hiring me, don't tell me that I'm qualified.



9) It will be OK, eventually. Eventually could be in 2027, so please do not remind the graduate of their awesome prospects at some point in the future.



10) Don't forget what it was like to feel this way! If my future falls into my lap tomorrow, I would be a true tool if I repeated these same mistakes to another person.



Because my friends are rude, I am 100% confident that they will continue to ask me what my plans are; specifically, they will read this blog and ask then what my plans are. That's fine. Look for me behind a bar at the Mirage.